In the realm of fashion there can be both creative freedom and confusing restrictives. With so many rules and consumers being spoon-fed ideas of what's "in" and "on trend," carving out what you actually like can be quite the challenge. To even attempt this, one has to navigate the clothing cuts and options you are given, try A LOT on, and sometimes still leave empty-handed. And as the option you're looking for doesn't reveal itself as easily as you'd hoped, and you're dizzied by the fitting room... you realize it may not even exist at all. *sigh*
If this scenario sounds familiar then you've gone shopping recently. Maybe you too have been shocked by what is available to you and what isn't. In this moment, I am specifically referring to bathing suit options. But you could easily turn that sentence into a MadLib and replace "bathing suit" with just about any clothing article.
Mind you, I have had the same bathing suit for the past 3 (ugh...maybe more) years and have worn it into the ground. So much so that the elastic of the bandeau top no longer does its supportive job and it is now considered, a "backyard ONLY" bathing suit. My lack of cute/sassy swimwear is a sad representation of this Florida girl and I was determined to improve that.
If you are like me or erhhmm... most women, nothing sounds more enjoyable than going bathing suit shopping. Except maybe a full body wax by a russian woman with a hairy chin-mole and a constant deadpan expression. I have to be mentally prepped for either scenario and possibly skip breakfast.
My first attempt at a new suit left me questioning how much ass is too much ass to reveal? Between thongs, moderate cheekies, and butt-floss, there was no "full coverage" bottom to be found. Was I out of touch? Am I allowed to wear something like that around other people? Yeesh!
Thanks to a group conversation during a personal training session (I was working on my new booty goals, for gosh sakes!) a girlfriend of mine who only wears brazilian cut bathing suits gave me a newfound sense of feminism that could only be manifested through a strip of fabric over my beautiful bum. I wanted that freedom, I wanted to care very little about how much of my butt-dimple(s) I would be revealing. The thirst was real folks but my own insecurities still stood in my way.
What really sealed the deal of embracing the cheekie cut bathing suit was catching a glimpse of a mom in my neighborhood TOTALLY rocking the booty-exposing bottoms while walking up from our community pool. Let me paint the motivating picture further....her butt was out OUT, flat as an ironing board, her tone was pale and SHE.WAS.OWNING.IT! This is not body-shaming people! This is taking what you have, being incredibly realistic, and not giving a f**k. I loved it, channeled it, and went to the surf shop the very next day. *Yes I did leave with a sexy, comfy, supportive new suit. Check it below.
Let's talk about what can hold us back when trying something new, revealing, or "unconventional."
Things that stand in our way:
- Perceived judgment and opinions of other women.
- Wow, is this one a dangerous double-edge sword; these perceptions weaken and divide us as women. Because style is visual, these judgments (real or perceived) can be felt in a snap, our confidence can be shaken, and we can refrain from doing/wearing something that truly makes us happy. Yeeesh! Nobody wins with this one.
- Unwanted attention of jeering men (gross) or what I will call the "construction worker catcall (yes i know it's not all construction workers, roofers, group of guys in a rusty saturn, haggard guy smoking a cigarette on the side of the grocery-store whose eyes are burning a hole into your butt as you're walking in and making sure you tuck your dress in between your legs so it doesn't fly up in a freakish breeze)."
- This is a toughy. No matter what you're wearing, these type of responses can make anyone feel completely naked, mentally rattled, and overall skeeved. I'm sorry mamas but I don't have any words of advice for this one. I always think I will stand strong and say the perfect thing to take back the control in this situation; it has yet to happen.
- Most of us know we can be our own worst critic and our ability to magnify our imperfections will get in the way of confidence, style freedom, and rocking exactly what we want to wear. That growing voice of personal judgment is loudest in front of a mirror and critical of creativity. Imperfections are what make us unique & special but until you embrace them, that sentiment means nothing.
Now that we've explored our psyche a bit...What can we gain when we metaphorically/phsyically "Wear the Cheekies?"
- This is lethal and should be wielded. You are beautiful, you are awesome and now you know it.
- Goal Setting & Achieving
- Once I decided my rear had to get in gear, I shared my goals with my trainer and we worked to actively reach them. Decide what is both reasonable and healthy for you then assemble the right people to both get you there and hold you accountable. Have you been wanting to rock a crop top like your friend Miranda? Share your goals with her and you can be sure she will follow-up with and support you through it.
- Talk about the secret sauce! The intoxicating power of embracing exactly who you are will open doors of self-love, acceptance, and body joy. Once I hit this layer of "I'm doing this for me," it was as if I was giving a big, bubbly, juicy bootylicious middle finger to other peoples unwanted/unwarranted opinions and saying hello to my own femininity.
Wear the cheekies, rock the crop top, don the bright pink lipstick...maybe just not all at once ;)