In my ripe and fabulous age of 26, I value and respect someone who is:
clear on (embraces works here too) who they are with the flexibility and open-mind of someone who still leaves room for growth. (Yes you can be self-assured without being a total deuche-knuckle toward other people and their own ideas).
I have spent the past few years gaining insight into the type of person I am, how I want to contribute to relationships, my sets of experiences that create my perspective, and what I value most. I have also learned that there exist some contradictions within me that give me what I will call…my “edge” (Being an extremist “anything” never seemed like fun anyway). What I have arrived at and will always point out freely is this:
I am confident in my contradictions as they make me who I am and shape who I am not.
You might know some of these people and are frustrated by their incongruence i.e. a woman who argues relentlessly against animal cruelty yet enjoys the craftsmanship and quality of a fine leather handbag. Sure this is an odd example but we’re painting a picture; setting a scene. Usually when we encounter this inconsistency in someone else, we want to point it out and feel “right” about the other person being “wrong.” Think about the time you had a friend dabble with being vegan while still munching on cheese at the office potluck. You wanted nothing more than an “AH HA! moment to call her shizz out and gloat. And for what? Let homegirl getta-little-gouda if it knocks her socks off! Where can we be gentler with ourselves--with others--and chuckle at the minutia.
I use minutia because the type of contradictions I am referring to are not designed to bring harm, are not crafted to cause insult, and they are certainly not there to be divisive. The contradictions you can become confident in are simple, laughable, and make life more interesting; they differ from our core values.
Core Values versus Contradictions :Why you can draw hard lines and be flexible with others
To me, a set of core values is inexplicably important to your life and act as a guiding force to the way you treat yourself and situations that involve other people. Core values such as integrity, humor, reliability, compassion and the like are powerful adjectives that impact your belief system and your daily operations. They act as foundational pillars that afford you the flexibility of the occasional contradictions.
Here are a few of my favorites for reference:
- I think mayonnaise is absolutely disgusting yet offer me a flavored aioli on a menu and I want the chef’s full selection plus i'm licking the ramekins (yes folks an aioli is just a flavored mayo...mind-blowing right?!?!?!)
- I wear leggings as if they operate the same as pants (I do realize they are not the same thank the lawd! as leggings are far more freeing!)
I focus on and generally care for the depths of my skincare and the type of products I use on this precious resource/moneymaker. Just take a gander at my medicine cabinet full of consciously sourced products whose ingredients I can stand behind 100%.
Yet take a look at the right door shelf of my fridge….
Check out this glorious spread of coffee creamer flavor options I openly refer to as “chemical shit-storms.” There is nothing real or plant-based in these babies and I still stock, mix, and delight in them on the reg' nay daily.
See…isn’t it better I focus on myself, call a spade a spade and sleep soundly at night?
Try it out. Take a look at yourself and your behaviors, to see where you can make those distinctions between your constant core and contradictions that exist for you. If you do uncover some, give your self license to laugh, to let go of ideas that don’t suit you and stand on the person you want to hang out with.
Go ahead…own YOUR edge.