Dessert First

If there's one phrase that encompasses a lot about me in one sentence it is...

"i'm a dessert first kind of girl."


it explains my love of sweets and my defiance when told what to do. "yes, I will eat this delicious cookie before my dinner and still have plenty of room for what else we have planned." As most children and sweets lovers know, the dessert stomach is absolutely a separate system; separate realm of glory.

recently I applied my "dessert first" concept in a whole 'nother arena--the arena of styling and fashion, which is also an area of defiance and decadence for me.

I attended a trunk show for my wedding accessories, as recommended by my bridal stylist, Marissa. According to Marissa, the artist Erin Cole, created pieces that were similar to my tastes, vision, and the earrings I had been messing with in their showroom. I booked my appointment immediately (no defiance there) and when the day came my girlfriend Margaret and I got down to bizzz.nassss. The baubles, bling, and drop dead gorgeous pieces seemed to have so much thought and care put into them. Naturally I strayed away from focusing on JUST my wedding pieces and found a gorgeous statement necklace (I’m always a sucker for these because they take an outfit from mild mannered to … OFF.THA.RIC-TAH!). As soon as I picked that one up, my bridal stylist  mentioned there might be others in the back.

Errrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhh... (burnin’ rubber tire screech). Pause. She was telling me there were necklaces off the floor that most of these brides haven’t seen?? Hello! Jackpot and specialty! She brought out three more gorrrgeous pieces and I was foaming at the mouth to get them on my body. We went from “this could be for my rehearsal dinner…” to “no wait, THIS could be for my rehearsal dinner…” to which my stylist naturally asked “what does your rehearsal dinner dress look like?”

Wait, what? I don’t have that dress picked out. Girl, Puh-lease. With this necklace, NOW I have a sharper vision, a muse, a cause to find what will work for this necklace. This had us all laughing so hard around the fact that I could very well have and do now own my “rehearsal dinner necklace" sans rehearsal dinner outfit. details. details. This was my "dessert first," my "cart before the horse," my heart and soul jumping up and down and telling me "inspiration! inspiration! you love something about this and it's worth creating something from!"

This got me many people have a “dessert-first” mentality and don’t even know it?

I recently worked with a dear friend, Kristin, to help her put together some looks with great pieces she already owned. She mentioned she loved her shoes and would usually build her outfit around them or in a way that had her wearing a new pair more frequently to show them off and feel happy. One look at her collection and I got a HUUUGE sense of who she was---- animal prints, mixed metals, texture… her identity was all there & fabulously so.

For other people their "dessert first" might be handbags, scarves, the ACTUAL outfit itself or even one piece of it. Regardless of how you build an outfit first, it's important to know that your way of doing things is beautiful, is connected to who you are, and is perfectly fine. Refreshing? it should be.

and, if you are paying attention to what inspires you, then your "dessert first" can change and that's fabulous too! I promise you, the more you pay attention to what speaks to you, to what makes you feel like your best self, and quiet the things, opinions, and overall noise that doesn't inspire or empower you, then you will build confidence and strength. This confidence and strength of self then becomes the best accessory you could ever imagine; the best "dessert first" to build your style from.